ah ma must be still awake right now, even though she is lying on her mattress (appears to be sleeping).. if i'm her, i will not be able to sleep as well. her younger sister (my grandaunt) is diagnosed with cancer, last stage. all her organs are down. doc says she can't pull through tonight. ah ma was with her at the hospital since 4pm+ till just now (10pm). she seen all her family members, made calls to China (relatives) to inform them that she is leaving... ask them to take care and not to worry.. then at night time, she started calling out names of our late family members (including my ah gong). ah ma said she kept yelling out his name and kept crying.. suddenly, my eyes went teary, but i tried to control. (i miss my ah gong) he told my grandaunt to relate to ah ma that he needs some clothes and money, which we will arrange to burn for him at the last day of funeral. grandaunt will pass to him.

grandaunt told ah ma that all of them have came to fetch her.. but it is not the 'right' time yet. she wants to choose a 'good' timing to leave. when ah ma described how she looked like right now (all skinny and boney), her voice trembled with slight sobbing. so i quickly changed topic. she says she see her sister like that very sad. from a healthy bah bah lady became now, so skinny, cheeks sunken in, no meat on her hands. grandaunt just came back from her China holiday/relatives visiting trip last month, then was diagnosed with cancer. just 1, 2 weeks ago, then doc confirms it (cos need to go through a lot of tests).

i really hope i can bring ah ma for holiday (to Taiwan) when she is still able to work around, able to travel far.. this is what i want to do for her.. actually we should have went in mar/apr this year. but some things screwed up, so.... -__-

i wonder if i can fell asleep tonight.......

6/23/2009 11:28:00 PM